Friday, September 24, 2010

Emotional Eating

I am an emotional eater. This is something I've always known, but since beginning Weight Watchers, it's become more apparent exactly how often I turn to food for comfort. Here is what really captured my attention today and made me realize how big of a struggle it truly is in my life.

So, last night we got a call from our social worker, that the most recent birth mom that was viewing our profile, had chosen someone else, and decided to place her baby outside of Memphis. While we should be use to this by now, this time was different. Our social worker had pretty much told us that they were only showing a few profiles, and more than likely this birth mom would be choosing us. We got excited, which is understandable, because we thought for the first time ever we would get to buy Santa presents for a baby. We didn't care that he/she would only be a few weeks old at Christmas, we were just excited to get to do something so small that others have done for years! So when the call came that we weren't picked, we were sad. Correction, we were devastated. We had to tell people that we had shared with that the mom didn't pick us. We had to tell family that we weren't going to be adding to the fold. We had to come to grips with the whole thing ourselves, and that....sucked.

Here's a little "back story." Before work yesterday I put a roast, potatoes, carrots, onions in the crock pot for dinner. While I'm not a huge meat fan, Donnie is, and this meal has a little bit of "goodness" for both of us. I love the way the carrots, onions and potatoes taste after marinating with the roast all day, and Donnie loves the roast. So, when I got home yesterday, dinner was ready! The social worker called before dinner, so after we spent time crying, hugging, and processing the information, we sat down to eat. I couldn't tell you what that meal tasted like to SAVE.MY.LIFE. It was food, and it was filling a void that had been created just a few minutes before. When we got up from dinner, Donnie informed me that he was going to get some ice cream. I told him I didn't want any, but shocker...when he got home I ate some. Then, a few hours later I ate pretzels. I wasn't hungry at all, but somehow it still seemed like a good idea, and I still ate some before bed. I went to bed around 9:00, exhausted from emotions, and thought surely Friday would be a better day. Well, today, when I got up the feeling of sadness was still there, and surprise, surprise...I wanted to eat.

I have been at my desk since 7:50 this morning, and every 10 to 15 minutes, I start rummaging around for food. Now, when I started weight watchers I "de-junked" my desk, and don't have snacks lying around like I use too. Sadly, I ate my only snack at 8:30, **side note-I did eat breakfast, but apparently convinced myself I needed my snack at 8:30** so now, I've been sitting here, waiting to go to lunch, starving, because I was trying to bring about happiness through food. How lame is that? Food..right, like that's ever helped anyone get over a rough spot in their life.

My new challenge is that any time I'm feeling empty, or sad, I turn to the bible for food. Just this morning I read:

Ephesians 3:19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled
to the measure with the fullness of God.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may
have life, and have it to the full.

I don't need to get my support or encouragement from food, as that will always leave me empty and wanting for more. I need to turn to Jesus where I can always count on something that will fill me up to overflowing!

Is there anything that you automatically turn to during times of trials or sadness?

**Another side note before closing out**While Donnie and I know that God has a plan for us, and that this baby wasn't the one chosen to become our family, we still ask that you pray for the health of the baby, and for the birth mom. Our one goal during this season of our life is that God is glorified! We pray that we are a living witness to God's work in our life, and that though we feel knocked down and run over, we still believe in His plan!

Friday, July 16, 2010

How a child can make a difference!

Me and Abby out on the boat at Sardis (7/2010)

Have you ever thought to yourself, I want my child to make a difference? Or have you ever thought, when I have children, I want them to make a difference in someones life? Well, this is a "story" about one child that made a huge impact in, and on our life, and how, because of her love for her nursery workers, we found some of the best friends we've ever had.

About 4 years ago, my husband and I officially joined Germantown Baptist Church. It was a hard decision for me, and one I've blogged about before, so I'm not going to go into it again. We went to service weekly, but had no real ties to a Sunday School class, and didn't really know where to go to find one. As we were sitting in service one week, a plea was given for nursery workers for the next year. Most everyone knows my love of children runs deep, so I immediately went out and signed up to be a volunteer nursery worker. I was open to whatever age they gave me, and thought it would be a fun way to spend my time before service. About two weeks later I was called and told I would be in the 18 month old room. Around the same time, our church went through a major split, complete with the pastor leaving, and most anyone I already knew high tailing it to another church. My first week in the nursery, we had 4 children. Yes, you read that right. At a big church like GBC we had just 4 kids....and it was sad. Over the course of the next few weeks, more and more children started coming back to church. Myself, along with my co-teacher Karen, would welcome these children with open arms, and teach them what little we could (not because of lack of knowledge but because of lack of attention span....theirs, not ours) about Jesus. There was supposed to be two rooms of this age group, but because of the split and sudden exodus from the church, our room was it. We had lots of little children that would love and hug on us, but one little girl captured my heart from the beginning. Her name was Abby.

Abby was the youngest of three girls in her family. Already feeling the kindred connection because I grew up with two sisters, I would pry her from her parents arms each week,and then sit her in my lap until she was ready to play. When she got tired, or upset, she would always seek me out, and want to sit with me. Seldom did a week go by that I wouldn't get a big smile, and warm hug from my "sweet Abby." By this time Donnie had started working in the class too, and on the occasion I was busy, she would immediately go to him, which was odd since there was another female teacher in the room.

Abby was a faithful attender. Her parents brought her in week after week, seldom missing church, except when sick. She always had on cute little dresses, and big bows in her hair. Of course, her hair was so fine, the bows would slip out, so most of the time we spent trying to get her hair put back up before her parents came to get her. The room began to get too small as another large church in the area was having some issues, and some of their congregation were now coming to GBC. In about six months, they had to open another classroom for the 18 month olds, and they were going to split them up by birth date. Well, a few of the mom's got upset because their kids were used to us, so the way these children got split was, if they were regular attenders they stayed with Karen, Donnie and me, and if they were occasional attenders they were sent to the other class. On any given Sunday our room would average 18 children, while the other room averaged 5. Some days we were overwhelmed, and some days we made it just fine. Now, looking back, I can see God's hand in how we met our friends. If the parents of some children had not said anything, dear Abby would've been put in the other class because of her birth date, which is in April. The cut off was supposed to be March. Isn't God neat?

So as the year went on, we learned more and more about Abby. We often joked with her parents over the "gate" as they handed her off to us, and though we didn't know their names we would always say how much we liked "Abby's parents", and how we could easily "hang out with them." ***Side note....this is always how Donnie and I label new people we meet. They either go in the "we could hang out with them" or "no way would we hang out with them" category.*** Pretty soon Abby's parents started inviting us to bible studies and other things their class did, and pretty soon we met all kinds of friends that were a part of their Sunday school class. We soon learned their names, other than Abby's parents, and found we enjoyed spending time with them learning God's word.

Over the next few months Abby started talking. She would come in, point to me and say what sounded like "sassy." We would ask her if she wanted her "sissy," "paci," anything that rhymed with sassy, and she would say no and point to me. Donnie and I both thought this was funny, and eventually told her parents. I even accused them of saying "that Kim Blair is too sassy." But they denied it, and I realized that this sweet little girl had come up with a nickname for me. Once Abby was able to say Donnie's name, it came out Don-Don. Though she knows us by our real names, she will not call us Donnie and Kim, but yet refers to us simply as Sassy and Don-Don. When that season of our life was over, and we went back to adult Sunday School, we of course went to the Carney class. Why did we go there and not visit any other class? We went because their 18 month old daughter had reached out to us, relative strangers, and made us feel at home.

We had the opportunity to go with our friends, the Carney's, to Sardis lake the weekend of the 4th of July. We had an awesome time, and made many, MANY, laughable memories that weekend. Out of everything we did, and all the laughs we had, do you know what made my heart smile the most? It was every time I heard one of the girls call my name to play with them, rescue them from the current, fix them something to eat or drink, or just watch TV. While some people may think it would be annoying, I smiled each and every time I heard the name.....Sassy.

Because of this sweet girl, and the friendship we developed with her parents, we've been able to meet, and make some of the best friends we've ever had....ever. Their is a group of us that go out to lunch on Sundays, which by the way has been too long since we were all in town, that we affectionately call "the Sunday lunch crew." We've met friends that have stayed at our church for a season, then left to go elsewhere, I guess to be disciples (smile) because let's face it, who wouldn't want to be a part of our class? We have friends that when we've been out several Sunday's send harassing emails like "are you going somewhere else?" or "When are you coming back-the room has been too serious." Or friends that when I send out an email and say "I'm not crazy but...." I get replies back that say "Of course we know you are crazy...." Sometimes I wonder where we would be had we never worked that class 4 years ago? Would we still be lost in the congregation somewhere? Would we even still be at GBC? I don't know, but I wouldn't change how it is now for anything. And it's all because of the love of a child!

So, whenever you feel like your child may never make a difference, remember our "story" and how a little, 18 month old girl named Abby, led us to some of the best friends we've ever had!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I found the one that my soul loves

To quote a line from one of my favorite movies (and yes you can judge me for it later)

"They say to write well is to write what you know...and this is what I know."

(Never Been Kissed 1999 starring Drew Barrymore)

So, this is what I know. I know that my youngest sister will be getting married one week from Saturday. It's kind of a mixed emotion time for me right now. I know that the man she is marrying, Todd, is an awesome guy, and the man that God has been grooming for all these years to meet my sister. I know that Emily is happy, and to see her like that, makes the rest of us happy. I know that embarking on marriage is fun, exciting, and also really, well... scary.

It's the first time in your life that you have to learn to live with someone new. Now I know we all have lived with our family, and college roommates, but to live with the person you love unconditionally takes some getting used to. For example, when Donnie and I dated and I would go to his apartment and his socks would be on the floor, or a wet towel would be thrown on the bed, I thought it was cute, and sweet to pick that stuff up for him. Now that we are married if I find socks on the floor or a wet towel on the bed, I have to check myself before the horns come out, and my ears blow off because that is NOT where they go.

It's the first time that you really realize that the person you love most in this life, you may not like sometimes. This was a hard one for me. See, I thought that married couples got along at least 90% of the time, and before you judge, Donnie and I do get along really well, but I have learned that there are some days that you just aren't the best of friends. For example-When you were dating and fixing his dinner, it was cute that he sat and watched tv and waited for you to get done. When you are married and he is sitting watching tv, and both of you have worked 8 hour days, you have to be careful that your sarcasm doesn't shine through too much when you ask if you can get him anything.

It's the first time you have every shared a bed with someone you were not blood related too. Come on ladies, you remember the times before you were married that you thought how fun it will be to get to go to bed with your husband every night. What you didn't think about was the fact that he would snore, move around a lot, and heck-even fart in his sleep. The prince charming, who in your mind was going to cover your bed with rose petals, is now making you wish you had any type of flower just to get rid of whatever smell is coming out of his body.

But for all the "bad stuff" you encounter, the one thing I know, is that it was the first time in my life that I trusted someone enough to give them my whole heart, and know that he would guard it with everything in his being.
  • My husband is my best friend. He's the last person I want to talk to at night, and the first person (even though it's not his favorite thing that early in the morning) that I want to talk to when I get up. He makes me laugh until my sides hurt, and he holds me close when I cry.
  • We've never gone to bed mad at each other, ever. You see, that's a promise we made when we got married, and here we are 5 years later, and we've never broken that promise.
  • He understands that I'm sentimental and emotional, and I understand that he's not. He knows what buttons to push, and when not to push them.
  • He always makes sure that I'm first, even if it means he has to go without.
  • He knows that any disagreements we have are between us, and he knows that I, just like him, would never take those disagreements to anyone else.
  • He knows that I only have eyes for him. He knows that those same eyes can roll with purpose when he gets under my skin.
  • He knows that when the going gets rough, the place to be is not holding me up, but yet on his knees right beside me.
  • He knows Abba Father in an intimate way, and his goal is to guide our household toward loving Him.
The one thing in this life that I know really well, is how much I love Donald Martin Blair...or, as I call him-Donnie.

I pray that my sister Emily, and her fiancee Todd, get to experience life the way Donnie and I have the past few years. I hope that when they look at us, they see a true example of a couple that love each other with all their heart. I know that life isn't always going to be easy, and I know that while life is about to get really exciting, it's also a little scary. But what I know most of all is that it is definitely worth the wait!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Continual Ache

Shocking, I know. Two post in a week's time. I promise I'm trying to do better!

This post was spurred on by a friend that I've known for a long time. In fact, I've watched her grow up as I was friends with her oldest brother, her parents worked with the youth, and our families have gone to the same church together for a lot of years. It's a post that will be very open, honest, and expose some of my rawest emotions. The reason I'm doing it is, God has spoken very softly to my heart and has encouraged me to start a women's bible study for women experiencing infertility. The bible study that I have yearned and prayed so long for, will begin at the end of August at my house. I know that to begin to be honest with these women, I had to start somewhere, so why not here? To say I am nervous is all truth. To say that I can't understand why God is asking ME to do this, is a HUGE question. To say that the ONLY way any of this is possible, is because God is there upholding me, is quite the understatement. I don't understand it all, but I know I need to obey.

The reason I decided to post this was because I know most of the readers of this blog are my friends. People who support and uplift me daily, and for them, I will forever be grateful. We could not have been able to get through the past 5 years without you. We love you more than you know!

So, here's our story. When we got married, Donnie was 36 and I was 31. Not spring chickens by any stretch of the imagination, and we knew that kids would need to come sooner rather than later. So, our plan was to stay on birth control for six months, and then start trying to have a baby. We knew it would be hard, as I have PCOS, but we also knew many women with PCOS who still get pregnant. We officially ended up getting off of birth control 4 months after we got married. There was some confusion at the pharmacy about what our insurance would cover (go figure) and we just decided it was the perfect opportunity to just get off of it completely. As of this September, we have officially been trying to have a baby for 5 years. And it sucks.

I have been a pin cushion at the fertility clinic for 4 of those 5 years. The only time we stopped going was last year when I needed a break from the needles, the ultrasounds, and peeing in a cup. I've seen two different doctors, both of them in the same practice, but both very different in their method of "helping." Some days I've felt nothing more than a file on a desk, and some days I've thought "If I have to go up here one more time I'll scream." When you know your cycles better than you know what you want for dinner, and on any given day you can spout off information, very technically, about what you are "supposed" to do, then you know you've been going to the doctor too much. As of yet, we've had no success through the help of the fertility clinic. I've probably taken, over the span of our 5 year marriage, approximately 30 pregnancy tests. Each time I've cried when it came back negative. The weird thing is, I always knew it would, and told myself this was just part of the "process," mainly because I was told to take these test, but nonetheless, the girly side of me always won, and my brain went to "what if," instead of "just business." Just this past month we've decided to return to the fertility clinic, of course with guarded hearts, but realizing we were telling God how to bless us, not letting him just do it on his own.

Last year, as you know, we felt God calling us to adopt. Actually, we felt God hitting us upside the head and saying "will you quit being so stubborn and listen to me?" So, we started the LONG process of adoption. After a very extensive home study, 10 hours of training, reading books, and making a profile, we were approved. Actually, it will be exactly 1 year next month that we were approved. We've never been told an actual time frame that someone would pick us, but we were told it would be about a year. Of course, always the optimist, I thought for sure someone would pick us sooner rather than later. What I didn't know, is that adoption is just as emotional as infertility, and your emotions stay on edge just as much.

About two months ago we got a call from our social worker saying a girl in Pensacola asked to see our profile. To say we were ecstatic is erring on the side of caution. We were elated and immediately began to pray for this baby. We prayed for the mom, we told only a few people, but asked them to pray as well, and we sat back with "a good feeling." We were told to start looking for pediatricians, figuring out a "loose" travel plan, and got updates every time the girl went to the office. I started looking at fabric for a nursery, heck, we would even occasionally go out and look at travel systems-after all, we would have to get the child home. We were told that the birth mom did not want to pick a family in Florida, so we felt even better about our chances of being the ones chosen! We just KNEW this would be our baby. For a solid six weeks we prayed as this girl looked at our profile. Though we needed to say cautious, we opened our hearts to the hope of a child. Sadly, about two weeks ago, we learned that she had picked another family, in Florida, and their joy, was our sadness. She had decided she wanted more visits than our once a year trip to Florida would offer, and we were sad. As we told those that knew, which wasn't a whole lot of people, I did just fine. I was surprised at my own strength, and even wondered a few times when the other shoe would drop. It really didn't, until this weekend.

Let me preface the next paragraph by saying, over the time we've been trying to have a baby, I've had MANY friends have children. I have hosted, co-hosted, or attended baby showers multiple times. During the years of 2007-2008, I went to at least one, if not two baby showers a month. Sure, when I got in my car to go home, waves of sadness would reduce me to a pile of tears, but I've never been malicious, or hurtful to any of these people. I've never pushed my sadness on to them, and I've never made them feel bad about talking about their pregnancies, or having their tiny babies with them all the time. I've always been genuinely happy for them, and have taken great joy in being able to visit with them, and hold their little one's just days after birth. That's what made the events of this weekend so hard. We found out on Saturday that someone close to us was pregnant. While it was a shock, we were okay with I said, neither Donnie nor I have ever wished anything bad on anyone who is pregnant, or starting a family. This announcement was a little harder on us than most, maybe because of what we just went through with the adoption stuff, or maybe because we had just gone to the fertility doctor the day before, or maybe it was because I had just taken, yet another, pregnancy test during vacation two weeks ago (again at the request of my doctor, because when you are losing weight, "you never know.") Of course, it was negative, but I never realized how I squashed down those emotions, in the efforts of having "a good time," while we were away.

On Saturday, I called my grandmother to see how she was doing (she's been very sick for a few weeks.) During the course of the conversation we started talking about people getting pregnant, starting families through adoption, etc. , and she said to me " Well, Amy and Brent never gave me a great-grandchild, you and Donnie can't, so I'm going to have count on the other grandkids to give me something to live for." Um, ouch....still raw, and now you are pouring salt in my wounds? So as we continue on with the conversation and she tells me that while she's been sick she's been talking to God a lot. If you know her, you know this is not at all unusual, and she does this quite openly, quite often. Shebthen proceeds to dump the rest of the salt canister into my wounds with this one.... "Kim-you just need to be happy for people that have babies-not sad. (Okay, never said I was sad, just that to say "it was an accident to someone that's been trying a while is not exactly what they want to hear") and then... "I've been thinking that not everyone is made to carry children (I agree with that) and that maybe God is telling you that you and Donnie are not to be parents, so you need to stop pursuing all this stuff you are doing and just be happy being alone together." Silence...on my end of the line. You've got to be kidding me right? My OWN grandmother is saying this to me....out loud? So I say, "well Mimi, you never know what God has in store" and try to leave it at that-however she had other plans in mind. She then proceeds to tell me that "You were too old when you got married, and this has been wasted time." Seriously, am I throwing up yet because that salt in my wounds sure is hurting. Part of me, well all of me, wanted to scream " do you know what we go through on almost a daily basis where it comes to children?" Do you know that we pray for the birth mom and baby, even if it is me, every time we pray? Do you know that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God gave me a mother's heart at a young age, and that, to quote Psalm 27:13 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."?!?! But I didn't. I was told to respect my elders, so I hung up with her a short while later and sobbed. I sobbed like I've never sobbed before, and felt hopeless. The kind of hopeless where you feel like you are letting everyone down. The kind of hopeless that leads to the "why am I here" type questions. Just plain hopeless. And I stayed there-until this morning.

This morning our church had Dr. Charles Fowler come in view of a call to be our pastor. I went in expecting great things, after all we had gone to an informational meeting on Saturday and I just felt he was right for GBC. I will stop here and ask, have you ever gone to church with the outside looking great, but the inside holding together by bare strings, and just your flesh and bone? Have you ever set in a pew, choir loft, wherever and thought God, are you here today? Well, that's where I was. Smiling on the outside, weeping on the in. So, off I go into the choir loft, and start to get emotional BEFORE we even started our patriotic music. By the time the played Tapps, you could've put a fork in me, because I was done. But still, I heard God whispering to me "just wait." So, Pastor Charles took the stage, and begin to give a message, inspired by God, to our church. He talked about obstacles in life, those "giants" that are there, that we don't think we can move. One of his quotes hit straight into my heart..."the enemy does not control our future." WOW. Talk about toe stepping. He was all over if he was right up in the choir loft preaching to just me. I can't even begin to explain how I needed that sermon. I can't even begin to explain why he chose to preach on that as his first sermon at GBC, but all I know as that God was there, and HE was all over it! When I finally saw Donnie, who incidentally also sings in choir, he met me with that all knowing smile. He said "do you think the sermon was aimed just at us?" I laughed because I felt the same way. I came home this afternoon with a new resolve, and new attitude. I know that God does hold my future, and that HE is the only one that can close the doors. Not my grandmother, God love her, nor my parents, friends, or even doctors. He holds the plans for us, and those plans are perfect! Though we may not be able to see it now, no matter how He decides to shape our future, we (I) will obey.

So with that, I will close this part of my continual testimony. I know that God is taking me through this to be able to share with other women. I know that, at this season in my life, it is my cross to bear. What I have to still learn is that this "cross" is also a great joy! I can say that, I do have a group of close friends that have prayed for us for the past few years. They've prayed tears of joy and sadness over us, they've been there when we didn't know what else to do, and they've always put their arms around us. You know who you are, and just know YOU are loved!

Friday, June 25, 2010


So, this picture was taken at the first game of last years U of M football season. I can remember getting ready for the game that day and thinking I looked good. SERIOUSLY??? I thought I looked good????? I think by that time in my life I had fooled myself into believing that the size I was, was the size I was going to stay. I made my large clothes fit, and look appropriate, but would cry when I took them off because I felt like I was hanging a tent in my closet. All women gripe about their weight, and when I would sit around with these other women I would gripe too. The only difference was they had 10 pounds to loose, I had several more "10's" than that!!! So I continued to eat and be "happy."

Here's my back story. About 8 years ago I did Jenny Craig and lost 80 pounds. I was in the best shape of my life, running almost every day, and looking really good (ironically I can't find any pictures from then). I was wearing the smallest size I had worn in years, and finally after years of not dating, I had found someone who would actually take me out. So, I thought I was home free and would be that size forever. One problem...the boy. He didn't really like me all that well, and would only use me for a ride somewhere so he didn't have to pay for gas, a free homemade dinner, etc. So as I started feeling worse about myself and who I was to this boy, the more I let my eating slip, and the pounds came back on. I felt like I had lost control, but I didn't care. I quit Jenny Craig, quit running, and focused all my attention on getting this boy to like me. Little did I know that it would never happen, and I was running after something that wasn't worth running after! Fast forward a few years and I meet a random guy out one night. He introduces himself as Donnie, and asks me out for the next night. Well, as you already know, that was the beginning of the end, and I found the love of my life. Still, one problem...we LOVED to eat. I was happy, had someone who thought I was beautiful, and wanted to take me out to nice places...and we ate, and ate, and ate. So, when I got married, I was at the heaviest I had ever been-to that point.

Over the next few years I continued to not only gain back all the weight I lost on Jenny Craig, but I also gain more on top of it. I blamed it on the drugs I took for infertility. I blamed it on the depression I felt because of infertility. I blamed it on everything except for what was the real problem....I loved to eat. Well, I knew I needed to start loosing weight when every picture I saw I looked pregnant, and knew I couldn't possibly be. But what was I going to do? I had a small breakdown, then I decided I knew what I had to do. So, I joined Weight Watchers.

I've been on Weight Watchers now since the beginning of March. March 10th to be exact. I set a goal in mind of where I wanted to be for Emily's wedding and I have achieved it in just 4 short months. I now have another goal in October, one I don't quite feel like sharing with everyone yet, but still a goal all the same. My life, and eating habits have changed. Sure, I still feel a craving for sweet stuff, or fancy food, but instead of eating a WHOLE container of something, I limit myself. I've lost almost 28 pounds-not to shabby. I still have a lot to go, but the picture below was taken on May 15 of this year, and I now know that anything is possible!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

So, if you haven't figure it out, I'm really bad at blogging. In fact, my future brother in law, Todd, spurred this post by telling me I needed to update my blog...oops.

Sometimes I have things on my mind that I want to talk about, but by the time I sit down and get ready to type, it's gone. Anyway, this week I just wanted to let you know that I've been snagging some GREAT clearance items at Target (Poplar and 240) in the past few weeks. If you've clipped any of the coupons for Crest or Colgate that have been in the paper lately, this particular Target has those two brands on clearance for $1.24. I had several $1.00 off coupons, so I stocked up on toothpaste for just .24 cents a tube! I was also able to get some Febreeze clearance items as well, for as little as a $1.00 (and who doesn't love Febreeze?) I'm posting a few of this weeks deal at Target in hopes that some of you can score some really great stuff as well!

Happy Shopping!

Jumbo Avocados $.99 each

Roma Tomatoes $1.99/lb

Raspberries 6oz. $1.99

Dole Classic Romaine, 9oz $1.99 (or .99 cents if you have the coupon from the super saver that was in the mail a few weeks ago!)

Small Lemons or Limes $.25 each

Large oranges or large red grapefruit $0.69 each

Betty Crocker muffin mix $2.00(03/28 SS) save $1.00/2Final Price, $1.50 each

Betty Crocker Cake mix $1.69 (03/28 SS) save $1.00/2 Final Price $1.38 each

Bertolli frozen meals $5.89Get $5 Gift Care wyb 4

Also, for all you men out there that have wives who are also Mother's, don't forget to buy them something great for Mother's Day. If you have a wife, that is not yet a Mom, don't forget to hug her a little tighter that day too!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

But I just wanted to be a "pew sitter"

So, the picture above is from the Christmas music at church this past year. It's our "cardboard testimony" and if you don't know what that is, look up cardboard testimonies on YouTube, turn your music up, get your tissue out and worship! I just wanted to use this picture to show how God has worked in my life over the past 4 1/2 years. This morning as we were waiting for our "Sunday Lunch Crew" to get their kids and meet us, I had several people stop to talk to me. By the time we got in the car both Donnie and I were laughing about how at one time I wanted to be an anonymous person in the crowd at church, and how instead, we've met so many people, that it's hard to walk down a hall without someone stopping you just to talk!
Here's the story... You see, I grew up at Ridgeway Baptist Church. First baby to be dedicated on that campus actually, so to say most everyone knew me is a big understatement. I was in GA's, children's choir, youth choir, adult choir, worked in the nursery, ran children's church, very active in the youth group, on youth council, tons of people from the church came to our wedding because they "felt like family" get the picture? So, everything I knew about church was to get involved. In my lifetime my dad was the chairman of deacons, my grandfather was on the pastor search committee, my dad was on a pastor search committee, my mom taught Sunday School, as did her dad, my Nana was very active in WMU, and my Mimi ran the pre-school...everyone worked in Vacation Bible School, summer safari was a way of life for our family, and sometimes we even came up to church on the weekends when dad was church treasurer... see, active? So I just thought that was how church was supposed to be....honestly, I did. So, after Donnie and I got married and my home church went through some changes, we decided to start visiting other churches. It was with a heavy heart, and much emotion that I called to tell my family that after many visits, we felt "at home" at Germantown Baptist Church. I knew my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles probably secretly wanted us not to find anywhere we liked and come "home" to RBC, but for whatever reason (GOD) GBC was where we felt we worshiped the best.
I can remember the months we visited before actually joining. We would come in and attend worship, listen to the preaching and then leave. One particular Sunday on the way out to the car I even made the comment "this is so great to be anonymous in a church!" I knew that no one really knew me, I wasn't "Ray and Carolyn's daughter", I wasn't "Vadine and Raymond or Ace and Demetra's granddaughter," I wasn't "Amy and Emily's big sister," heck, at that point no one even know we were the Blairs, or Don and Kim, so I knew I wouldn't be asked to do anything, and I thought that in and of itself, was awesome! So Donnie and I continued to visit, and after a few months decided to join the church. When we went to the counseling room, the guy counseling us asked if we were involved in a Sunday School class. I remember saying no, and then rambling about Donnie traveling, etc., but that was about it. So for the next few months we continued to go to church, still slightly anonymous (some people I went to Briarcrest with went to that church, and as Donnie says I can't go anywhere without knowing someone) and it felt great...kind of. I felt like something was missing. Maybe it was the intimacy of learning God's word in a smaller group. Maybe it was the friendship developed with other couples in your season of life. Maybe it was that I was not doing what God asks of us, whatever it was, it made me feel empty inside. So, one Sunday as we sat worshipping, the nursery coordinator paraded some kids on stage and said that they didn't have a teacher, and that they would have to sit on stage the rest of the service. Of course this was a ploy, but it sure pulled at my heartstrings, and before I knew it I signed up to be a teacher in the 18 month old class. First I taught during the Sunday school hour by myself, but after a few weeks, Donnie decided he might want to teach with me. We met some great kids, who had wonderful parents! Little by little those parents started inviting us to do stuff with their class. They told me about a Wednesday night Bible Study they had, and how I was more than welcome to come. So, off I went to meet these "new girls." Week after week my friendships with them deepened, and while I got to know them better, their husbands started inviting Donnie to stuff with all the men. Before we knew it we were fully immersed with this group, and were loving every minute of it! The next "semester" we decided not to teach anymore, but instead to go to the Sunday school class. The first Sunday we got to church to go to Sunday school, we went right to the Carney class. These are the people whose children we had been watching for a year, so it just seemed right!
Fast forward to 2010. We've been in this same class for the past 4 years. Those parents have become our friends, and our life as "pew sitters" ended oh, about 4 years ago. Since then we have both joined the choir (picture above), continued to work with the nursery crew as needed, become the social "chairpeople" for our class, I'm on the First Impressions committee, and about to co-lead a bible study this summer. Donnie had the opportunity to lead a guitar group on Wednesday night, and to get involved in some of the men's ministry stuff. I guess sometimes God has to just thump you on the back of the head and say "I did not command you to be a "pew sitter" but to continually work to grow My kingdom!" The best part of our experience is getting to grow friendships and relationships with such neat people! There are no words to describe the love I have for those "parents" who to us were relative strangers just 4 1/2 years ago. We've been blessed to be able to sit in a class and cry, laugh, and pray with each other. To know that if someone called in need, one of use would go without asking any questions. To come up with a "Sunday lunch crew" who, when we haven't been able to go out for a while, all jumped at the chance to go today and squeeze around a small table just to get to spend time together. To know that God has touched the heart of 3 very special men, and we know that no matter which was is teaching any given Sunday, the word will be brought to us! To know our life as "pew sitters" ended, and our life as "pew fillers" is just beginning.
Lastly, when we sit at home and talk about our, our friends are among the richest and greatest blessings that God has given us! You know that one, or all of us may be gripey when our blood sugar gets low. You know that Donnie will ALWAYS have something to share in Sunday school, and that I will usually fumble up the announcement for the next social event. You know that I'm OCD, and Donnie is laid back, but you love us just the same! You know who you are....and you know, you are LOVED!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

So I have become a bad blogger! Not only do I not keep people up to date on GREAT savings, but I've failed in writing down tidbits of our daily life! To say that life has been crazy is a MAJOR understatement. I have no idea where the time has gone between the last post about Pillsbury crescent rolls, and this one, but just deal with it...ha.

I just hopped on here really quick to say thank you to everyone who has come to a coupon class lately. I took about a month off, and never realized how rusty I had become. Slowly I'm getting in the grove again, and I'm ready to schedule more classes so that I can spread the word on what coupons can do for you.

Oh, and is offering one of their "free for 4 days only" offers. They have postcards, t-shirts, pens, hats, and much more on their list, and all it will cost you is the price of shipping it to your home!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Savings at Target

Hi all!

Thanks to Angela Norton, I just got a message that at the Target at 240/Poplar the Pillsbury cinnamon rolls are on price cut for $.97, and the crescent rolls are on price cut for $.93. If you go to , you will be able to download and print coupons for $1.00 off of two Cinnamon Rolls, and $.50 off two crescent rolls. Angela also said that there are peelies on some of the packages for an additional $.55 off three! Stack these together with a coupon for $.50 off one from the general mills insert from a few Sundays ago (sorry I don’t have the date) and you will score a great deal on cinnamon AND crescent rolls! Even if you don’t have the $.50 off of one, you will still get a great deal! ***Thanks Angela!****
Another thing I noticed when we were in Target yesterday was that in the back right corner of the store they are carrying things in bulk like Sams and Costco. I got pretty excited when I saw that the big things of toilet paper were priced exactly as they are in the warehouse stores! The reason I got so excited??? At Target you can use manufacturer and store coupons to make the deal better! I’m still working on the price per roll, but so far if you have a $2.00 off Northern Tissue and buy the large package, you are spending less than if you bought it at Costco! Watch the blog for price comparison once I get it all figured out!

Monday, January 11, 2010

"If it were up to me"

So, yeah, it's been a while since I've blogged. Sorry to be such a bad blogger, and slacker when it comes to posting great deals. Thanksgiving hit, and from then until now we have been on the go, go, go! I had originally planned on getting here to talk about some great deals I've been getting lately, but that can wait until tomorrow. Today I want to just blog about something that is so near and dear to my heart...and I'm going to title it "If it were up to me."

If it were up to me.....

* I would have buckled down when I was at MTSU and finished college in 4 years, with my parents paying for everything. As it turned out, I liked to play, so I ended up in Memphis, and well to say it took longer than four years, and that I've had to pay for it all, would be an understatement. However, if I had never left MTSU would I have met Donnie, experienced life over the past 17 years, and learned all the life lessons that I have? Probably not, so I guess that why it's not up to me.

* I would have told my brother in law Brent that I loved him more often before he died. He was like an aggravating big brother (even though he was younger than me) always telling me what to do, and what "would be a good idea." The one thing I know is that he loved my sister with all his heart, and if he could have lived on love alone, he would still be with us today. Who knew when he went to Iraq we would never get to see him alive again, who knew? I guess, that's why it's not up to me.

* Heck, for that matter, if it was up to me, Brent would still be alive, and he and Amy would have a house somewhere (I'm sure not Memphis) and they would have kids, and Maddey and Penny, and life would be great. But that wasn't God's plan, and it wasn't in His time, so that's why I guess, it's not up to me.

* I would have met Donnie 5 years before I did, so that this year we would be celebrating 10 years of marriage together instead of 5. As it was, we did only meet 6 years ago, but those have been some of the best, and hardest 6 years of my life. It wasn't in God's timing for us to meet before we did, and there was nothing I could do to change, so that's why I guess, it's not up to me.

* We would not only be celebrating 5 years of marriage, but we would have a 4 year old and a 2 year old....and I would have never had to jump on this ride called infertility. His ways are not my ways, so I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* Even if we didn't have a 4 and 2 year old, we would have had at least one biological child, instead of years and years of endless test, empty promises, and broken hearts. I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* We would have been chosen out of the waiting pool of parents just a few weeks after we put our information out there for adoption. Instead it's been six months, and the only thing we hear is a monthly update (if the social worker remembers) that goes out to all waiting families. I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* My Nana and Grandaddy would still be alive. There are days I just miss my Nana. I long to hear her voice on the phone, and though it was annoying, her asking about Donnie first, and then me. Grandaddy would have liked Donnie, I just know it. I wish they could have met, and then Donnie would know where my dad and Uncle Bobby get their true "Mullins spirit" from....ha. I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* People would understand loss, and death when it happens to a young married couple. I watched as the church as a whole didn't know what to do with my sister because she was 25 and newly widowed. Widows were old ladies, not young women....or so they thought. So instead of ministering to her, they left her alone and would talk to my parents and grandparents. True, they had lost a son in law, but she lost her HUSBAND. If someone would've reached out would things have been different? I don't know...and I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* People would understand infertility. Pretending that we haven't gone through a struggle, or asking my Mom how I'm doing, while pretending I don't exist doesn't cut it. Yes, it hurts. Yes, some days you want to scream. Yes, hosting, co-hosting, or attending 18 baby showers within 12 months felt like my world was crashing in, but just ask ME. The one who is going through it. Guess what? I'm not fragile, and I'm not going to fall apart on you. But acknowledging that something is going on, goes a lot further than tiptoeing around it. Some days I want to scream "Don't gripe about your kids, don't tell me that we don't understand chaos because we don't have kids, don't take it for granted that you have been able to experience one of the most amazing things on the face of the earth....just don't." But I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* People would use discretion when talking to a large group of people. Guess what? Not everyone is a parent, and you can bet in a large crowd there is more than one person that is struggling with some type of loss. So to address a crowd as "Parents, Grandparents, Singles and Youth" leaves out a whole dynamic. If I could talk to every speaker in America I would say that one thing....don't assume everyone falls into one of those categories. But I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* I would let my friends know that yes, it probably seems like Donnie and I would have a lot of free time because we don't have kids, but alas, that's not true. See when you don't have children people actually expect a lot more out of you. We get asked to run to the grocery store for my Pops, or run a quick errand for Mimi, or help out with this event or that....because, "you have the time." When asked recently in a class how we manage to set aside time for us to spend alone, almost everyone in there said "because they don't have kids," and the flesh in me wanted to scream back "not by choice." However, I just smiled and let Donnie answer. I guess that's why, it's not up to me.

* I would understand why God gives us challenges. I would understand why He let's certain things happen to some people and not to others. I would make sure that everyone I know experiences blessings from God in only a way that He can bless us. I would make sure that I never hurt anyone by saying, or doing the wrong thing. I would love, listen, and encourage more, and talk less. But I KNOW that's why, it's not up to me.

Isaiah 55:6-10

6 Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.

7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God,
for he will freely pardon.

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.